Guys are a vulnerable race. Ok, too much generalisation and a factual mistake in that statement. Guys are simple creatures. Better! We are split between the duality of deeply caring what women think and disregarding it when we figure “it” out. But the answer to this question is not a straight formula because every person is different and behaves differently. One common thing is that people notice not one but multiple micro things in people they meet in the first few seconds itself, and usually it is enough to form an opinion. This, of course, is not a universal fact, but research suggests that most people behave like this and hence it is safe to be assumed as harmlessly true.
So, in order to make it easy, we asked 42 young women between the age group of 22 – 30 years old, in Delhi NCR what the first thing is that they notice in a guy and documented the most recurring themes in this blog.
Let’s start.
First Thing is Always the Face
100% of the women said that it’s the guy’s face that they notice first. Always. It’s not because they seek attractiveness there, but because your face contains loads of information about you. For instance your face can easily give away whether you’re approachable or reserved, do you appear confident or nervous, basically if you’d be someone they’d enjoy a conversation with. Remember, it’s not the perfection of your jawline but your micro expressions that help create the first impression.
Keep it relaxed and cordial and you’ve done your substantial bit.
Eyes Are the Close Second
An old adage goes by “eyes are the mirrors to your soul.” We don’t claim we abide by the depth of this expression fully, but women definitely seem to be noticing your eyes in the first few seconds. What they see is whether you’re the kind of guy who can hold eye contact without spooking them out. They easily gravitate towards men who exhibit confidence through their eyes and how they take it forward.
What puts them off is an unblinking eye contact (we thought it would be the nervous energy of not been able to hold one, but this came as a surprise). They’ve used words like creep, intimidating, condescending. None is the zone you want to enter if you want to look friendly. So, don’t look disinterested by ‘shifty’ eyes and hit the sweet spot by simply looking engaged in a conversation.
The Grooming Game
This came in third, but most women spoke pretty passionately about it. No one said they wanted it a certain way but they said they do notice the ‘absence’ of grooming. We agree. Women don’t necessarily find an unkempt beard or the stray body hair peeking out of the shirt unattractive, but it does send a signal that maybe you don’t pay attention to detail. A balanced grooming routine, on the other hand, sends out a bunch of strong signals quietly: you value yourself, you take care of yourself and your hygiene and you don’t shy away from making an effort.
It doesn’t matter if you shave or sport a beard. What matters is how well you maintain it. Today it is very easy to do so with the help of Trimmers for Men, which make it easy to keep your facial and body hair neat without any hassle. Presenting the best version of yourself not only makes a good impression on women but also gives you more confidence in your day to day life. Also, body grooming is being taken very seriously in general, so with the help of a Full Body Trimmer, you can take care of different parts of the body without having to use the same trimmer everywhere.
Posture Speaks Volumes
Non verbal signals are the strongest mode of communication when someone interacts with you. It starts way before you even open your mouth. When you walk into a room with a relaxed, upright posture you exude confidence, something that women value the most in the opposite gender.
Research in social psychology attributes another quality to a good posture among men that makes them more desirable as mates. It is dominance. Not the toxic masculine definition of the word that has become popular under the garb of alpha body language, but simply suggesting that someone is emotionally secure, not threatened and can hold their independent identity without merging with the crowd. It literally and figuratively makes you stand out of the crowd.
Voice, Language and The Way You Speak
This is another aspect that adds to the thin-slice judgement among women who infer your personality from minimal information by hearing your speak just for a few seconds. It is interesting how women value different parts of how you speak more important than the other. However, as a package it will be extremely beneficial to improve upon all of them. Let’s look at them one by one.
- Your Pitch – When you consciously think about a man’s voice, you’d think the deeper the better, like Amitabh Bachchan or Morgan Freeman. But interestingly, most women prefer a moderately deep voice that is relaxed. They’re not looking for a “masculine” voice, but a mature one.
- The Speed – While none of the women mentioned this without us nudging them for an opinion, I think this is an important one. If you talk fast with one word literally merging into the next with little or no breathing space between them, you come across as someone who is nervous or anxious. Not a first impression people usually go for. More measured words with deliberate pauses give an impression of maturity, calm and control.
- Pronunciation & Grammar – This is pretty hot among almost all the women we spoke to. Nothing is wrong with letting your ethnic or cultural nuances flow in the way to talk, but if you struggle to pronounce words right or don’t pronounce the words completely (they disappear in a mumble), then women take a note and a slightly negative one. We don’t mean you should speak with an elite accent because women take note of that as well. Just practice the words if you’re trying to speak in your non native language, open your mouth enough to be able to pronounce them properly, and take care of grammar. More than half the women said they’re immediately put off by men who speak incorrect grammar (in English. They didn’t seem to have a problem with wrong grammar in a native language).
- Emotional Tone – We took some time to actually find the right word to communicate the sentiment a lot of women shared. They said more that perfect words or voice what really matters is the tone. If you speak with warmth, enthusiasm and clarity, it makes up for a lot of other things. It signals a likeable personality and makes a good impression.
Clothes
There is a lot going on Instagram that seems to explain how men dress up vs how boys dress up. The extremely popular baggy, oversized, high on graphic tees are seen as immature and meant for boys. On the other hand, ‘men’ wear clothes that fit their bodies better, go for subtle and solid colours and lean more towards the conservative spectrum of fashion. Very honestly, we didn’t hear much about this in our survey, and even when asked very few of them had something substantial to add, besides that you should dress up for the occasion and location.
But clothes do influence your perceived personality, as every garment comes with a bunch of stereotypes attached to them. They will notice them if they are on either side of the spectrum: extremely good or extremely bad. So try to stay on the former side.
In Conclusion…
It’s great to take tips from real surveys like this to understand what women notice first in a guy, but it would work even better for you if you keep your common sense on and gauge at a situation with empathy. Try to be in their shoes and ask yourself, “Am I coming off too strong?”, “Is this earring real a part of my personality or I just got it because I saw someone cool wearing it?”
Ultimately women are people too and all they’re looking for is a decent guy who can act normally, exhibit common courtesy and has a civic sense that won’t embarrass or threaten them.
